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Health & Fitness

Healing heartbreak after the Chardon tragedy

Something very special happened tonight at Pilgrim United Church of Christ in Cuyahoga Falls. The high school students of Cuyahoga Falls reach out to their Chardon peers.

Something very special happened tonight at Pilgrim United Church of Christ in Cuyahoga Falls.  A group of adults, some who were connected and others that were new friends, gathered with teenagers from Cuyahoga Falls High School. We mourned together, a tragedy that has changed all of our lives. We might be in a different location but if something could happen like that in the community of Chardon, it could happen in our own community. 

So, you see, we aren’t any different. Life can be short and we never quite grasp that concept.  When our young people die before their time in a place that is supposed to be safe, it hits you.  It hurts.  And…it inspires you.  Someone has to reach out first.  Someone has to be the change.

During the candlelight vigil, we lit one candle for each of the Chardon High School Students, one for the Chardon community, one for TJ Lane, and one for us all.  We ate cookies together and made cards to send to the students of Chardon High.  A Statement of Non-Violence was given to each student to sign and an adult bore witness to all of their signatures.

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We listened to music and talked while sharing a time of creativity remembering those students who were lost to us forever and thankful for the ones who survived.  We talked about forgiveness and how when you give it, you gain so much more than if you hold onto the anger.  I read somewhere on a comment posted on an internet article; “I'd rather control than be controlled, and that's what forgiving does for you. It gives you control.”

I think that has got to be one of the truest statements I’ve read in a long time.  When I first read the statement, it gave me pause.  I, mean, what do we really have control over?  I can’t think of one example.  Something unexpected happens every day that causes a chain of events to happen that you never saw coming.  It doesn’t matter how organized you are or how well you plan.  The unexpected does not discriminate.

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We lit those first five candles for the students who were wounded or killed, but the sixth was for a broken, lost young man who needed our help.  Yet, somehow, he slipped through the cracks.  We, as a people, as a society, failed that young man in some way.  He was in so much pain that he struck back.  He did it by stealing lives, but he stole more than that; he took our peace of mind and left us with fear, anger, and guilt. 

We cannot alter the past, but we can re-shape the future.  We are never 100 percent in control of outside forces at work in our lives.  I don't believe that's what the commenter meant.  Yet, we are in total control of ourselves and our actions.  We can choose to remain in anger, spouting hatred, arguing about who is right and who is wrong, or we can step out in faith and choose forgiveness. We can choose respect.  We can choose love.  We have the opportunity to unite with one common cause.  We can show the world what love really means.

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