Dealing With Negative People in Your Life

Welcome! I invite you to sit back with a cup of tea, coffee or other beverage of choice and join me on a journey. A journey full of thoughts and musings you may or may not agree with 100% of the time yet at the same time, will cause you, I hope, to have thought-provoking conversations with someone you care about.

First, let me tell you up front that this is a blog about faith. It's about questions that each of us wrestle with on a daily basis. Just like you, I get up each morning and start my day, getting kids off to school and myself ready for work. I face the daily worries about finances, the to-do list that never ends, and whether I'm making the best possible decisions for my family.

It's not a blog about religion or the dispute thereof that my point of view is right and that any other is wrong. It's about a choice. A choice to live a faith-filled life versus stumbling around in the dark and wallowing in pain caused by a hurting world. Faith is a verb, an action, and simply because you're living in faith doesn't mean that your life is going to be pain-free. Yet it is a way to handle that pain and how you come out of it.

Negativity Versus Positivity - The First Topic

Have you ever had someone in your life where all they did was complain about everyone and everything. Never a positive word to say about anything and they always seem to have a “poor me” attitude? It gets to be such a drag to be around them. You start out listening to them and you want to sympathize, yet it isn't very long before you're searching for any reason to avoid being in their company.

Maybe you're the type of person who wants to help everyone or a people-pleaser and soon, the feelings of guilt begin. You know you shouldn't be avoiding them, but you just can't help yourself because they're simply too difficult to be around. The misery in which they're living has stolen your peace.

I recently found myself in such a situation and I was at a loss on how to deal with it. I have both the aforementioned qualities. I am both a “helper” and a “people-pleaser.” I guess you could say I want to fix everything and make it all better, and I want to be liked. I think that's only natural. Who doesn't want to be liked?

I'm fond of reading inspirational books and the message I received from one I was reading at the time this situation was active, indicated that I needed to distance myself. It wasn't very easy to do this, yet emotionally, having done so, I felt much better. This doesn't mean that I quit listening to people's difficulties. It just means that I know I can't and won't be able to fix anything no matter how many words of encouragement or advice I offer because they're the ones that have to fix it for themselves. Until they're ready to take their own steps, you can't help.

Further affirmation of this message was received in a sermon message one Sunday delivered by the Rev. Kirk Bruce, our Pastor at Pilgrim Church. He advised that “It's OK to complain, but don't 'live' there. Let it go and move on and don't live in anger.” It's not uncommon that whenever I'm seeking answers, the same message is spoken by several sources and this never ceases to amaze and astound me. It's as if God is leading me directly to the answers I need to handle any given situation, speaking specifically to me.

My mother, and maybe yours too, had a saying that went something like, “What goes around, comes around.” I guess that means that if you're always living with negativity and anger and it shows outward in your actions then that is what you'll receive in return. Turn your frown upside down and try it the other way for a while. Of course, we positivity believers can't make you change, you have to do it for yourself.